


Thinking A Little Too Hard

by TachyonStar



Category: Phantasy Star Online 2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 03:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2213424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TachyonStar/pseuds/TachyonStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little bit of self-introspection on things that have happened, just before the start of Episode 3. (Amazingly, no spoilers for ep 3 and only a tiny one for 2. You may not even notice it is one.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking A Little Too Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Trance is my character in PSO2, obviously. He's also an idiot, if a rather lovable one.
> 
> Not technically a pairing fic, but such is mentioned, as Trance has been dating Afin in headcanon for ages now. Also probably not worthy of a T rating, but sex is mentioned. Playing it safe.

My name’s Trance Hayes, and I’m 20 years old.

Okay…almost. My birthday’s in about a month. Close enough for anything unofficial, right? Anyway, I’m an Arks - a pretty high-ranking one, I guess - I’m kind of friends with the Six Pillars, and I’ve got a pretty awesome partner named Afin.

I’m also, uh, in a relationship with that partner. Or at least…I hope so, anyway.

…It sounds a little stupid, I know. We’ve been…together…for about eight months now, and everything was…it was perfect, really perfect. I guess I could say it still is, we haven’t split up or anything - well, maybe I should explain a little more first. We met almost a year ago when we were both rookie Arks, and from the minute I saw him I just couldn’t stop thinking about him. It turned out we have this really embarrassing thing called a photonic bond, which apparently means we were basically born soulmates or something…it’s so cheesy, I still blush every time it comes to mind. Anyway, so about eight months ago, we officially decided to give that whole relationship thing a try. I can honestly say I haven’t regretted one instant of it, even despite everything that’s happened. Even despite my body being…

Well, that’s another long explanation, but I’ll try to shorten it. Okay, so about nine months ago, my body basically started…I guess you’d call it degrading. My photons kept breaking down, and the only way to restore them was…ugh, this is really embarrassing. But in order to stop the degradation, temporarily reverse it, I had to…uh, well, there’s really no way to say this that isn’t going to be weird, so I’ll just say it outright - I had to sleep with as many people as possible. Something about replenishing the photons from another source and calming my hormones down at the same time. It couldn’t just be one or the other, or else I’d probably have been living on photon boosters. And if I didn’t sort of “reset” the whole process by switching who I was…um, with…then the effect would be less and less every time, until it eventually stopped working. I wasn’t happy with it, but it had to be done.

That’s actually how I got to know one of the Pillars, but…never mind that.

Anyway, that’s kind of been fixed. The consciousness who acts as the core of Oracle’s mothership, Xiao, has what I guess you’d call a special interest in me. I’ve been working with him to try and figure out how to stop this degradation, and I think we’ve finally got it. Now I’m probably not going to die if I decide to do something other than sleeping around. That’s not to say I’m going to totally stop sleeping with anyone, just…I can be picky now, I guess. It’s fine, really, there’s only two people - well, okay, three, but one’s kind of out of the picture for who knows how much longer - I’m interested in that way (they both know it, we’ve kind of…had some threesomes), so really, this is a good thing.

I do kind of wonder, though…is the problem that I’ve been “cured”? That’s kind of too nonsensical to even think about…

Okay, maybe I should explain this problem too. All of a sudden, Afin’s started being really…distant, I guess. Distracted. He doesn’t actively try to avoid me or anything like that, but it kind of feels like he’s starting to pull away from me. Like he’s having second thoughts all of a sudden. It’s getting to the point where every time I manage to catch him between missions or during free time, I’m starting to worry he’s just going to tell me this isn’t working out and we make better friends…or something. He hasn’t yet, at least, but I just can’t help being a little scared. Photonic bond aside, I love him - I mean, really, really love him - and I don’t know what I’d do if the worst-case scenario actually happened. Nothing good, that’s for sure.

I know, I should just…try to talk to him about it. Ask him what’s going on. But I’m afraid that if I do…well, refer back to what I just said.

I hope it’s nothing. I hope I’m just being an idiot again. I mean, I am an idiot, but still.

Maybe I’ll go see when he’s due to finish up his latest mission. I know I’ll feel better if I just hold him for a bit. He never complains about that, at least; he just kind of leans against me and smiles this happy little smile and it’s like…everything’s right with the world again.

Even if it’s not, I just want to believe that for a little while.


End file.
